Taxi stories.

Inspired by an article in the LV Review-Journal, I thought I'd share some quick taxi stories from my Las Vegas trips.

I usually do solo trips.  As a guy in his forties, alone, and frequently slightly inebriated getting into a cab, at least once a trip I get a driver who tells me he knows the best strip club or massage parlor.  No thanks.

I have had drivers ask me if I'm looking to meet women while in town.  I assume that if I say yes he will produce a card with a phone number for a Hot Babe Direct to My Room or some other shady commercial enterprise he will get a kickback for.  Nah, I'm just in town to gamble and have a few drinks.  I'd prefer not to risk a night in jail or a nasty disease.

Once, while riding from the airport to downtown, a driver asked me if I wanted to buy a beer from him for the ride.  I have no idea if that's legal or not, but I actually thought that was a nice service to provide.  I declined, but I found out he actually grew up not to far from me.  He gave me his card and told me to call him if I needed to go to  a strip club.  I took his card, but never made that call.  Nice guy.

As I mentioned in a previous post, all cabdrivers at the airport will try to take you the long way, but it's easy enough to avoid.  Once I was staying at Hooters, which is basically at the end of the airport road.  The guy tried to sell me on the tunnel.  "Traffic very bad now, we take the highway?" 
"No we won't take the highway.  I could walk to the hotel faster than driving the highway. (I think I actually could have).This ain't my first rodeo." (I really didn't say that, but I kinda wish I did). That guy got a not-so-great tip.

Anyway these things annoy the hell out of some people, but I just laugh them off.  I'm in Vegas, I'll be damned if a cab driver will bring me down.

Beware visitors, you will be long-hauled

In Vegas, they will try to long haul you.  Guaranteed. 

Long hauling is basically overcharging you for a taxi ride by taking the longest route.  The most common practice is for taxi drivers to pick you up at the airport and take you to your hotel via the highway, which, unless you are staying downtown, is almost always the long way by far.  The Las Vegas Review-Journal had an article today which basically said "No one really cares and this practice will continue."

So beware my friends.  Before you step into that taxi line, know where you are going and how to get there. A bit of time spent on google maps can seriously save you a good deal of money and time.

My personal tactic, being a very polite sort, is to say something like "I'm going to Bally's.  Is Paradise or Koval quicker right now?",  knowing full well it's basically the same route.  Saying this tells the cab driver that I'm not a rube and I know the scam, without being blatant about it.  If you are less worried about offending than I am simply say "Don't take the tunnel.  Don't take the highway.  Use the back roads. Please."  By law, drivers are bound to take you via the route you state. 

Oh, and if you get an honest ride, please tip.  Conversely, if you are long hauled, don't tip at all.  And don't feel bad about it.

If you are at the casino and need a cab, you can always ask the guy who hails them what the best route is.  He will even right it down or tell the driver if you ask him to.  Of course, you need to shoot him a tip as well, but it's money well spent.

And maybe the best tip ever, Never Never Never say to the driver "This is my first time ever in Vegas!"  or even worse "This is my first cab ride ever!"  Act like a pro, even if you aren't, and you'll be fine.