My Stay at Planet Hollywood

Took a bit of a break, but will try to post a bit more.  I'm working on it.

I stayed at Planet Hollywood July 2-5, on the first leg of my trip out to the Desert Paradise.
I got in the cab at McCarran Airport, told the driver my route (you have to do this in Vegas, or they will screw you.)  The driver, who was hopped up on caffeine it seems (or at least I hope it was caffeine) was nice enough to offer to take me to the best strip club and the best massage parlor in town.  When you are a single guy in your forties riding a cab in Vegas, this is quite common. No thanks dude.  He then proceeded to tell me the various troubles he has undergone lately, I don't know if this is a way to get a better tip or if he was just talkative or if he thought I'd care.  I really didn't, but he got overtipped anyway, as he got me to the hotel quickly and with minimal hassle.  I pretty much overtip everywhere.  It's an east coast thing, I'm told.

Check in at Planet Hollywood was quick, although there was a woman there who didn't seem to understand that there was a line, and she was expected to get in it.  She had a lot of bags, so apparently she thought this should let her bypass.  Um, no, deary.

The rooms at PH are themed, every one is tied to a movie in some lame-o but kind of cool way.  I was in the Good Will Hunting room, perhaps the desk guy heard my Boston accent and thought I'd be more comfortable there.  They had Robin Williams' shirt hanging up there.  Thankfully, it was under a thick plate of glass.  Otherwise the room itself was a standard king.  I took a picture, didn't come out great.

The bathroom, however, was pretty cool.  Stand-up shower stall, toilet was in a tiny little water closet, and I had a big-assed bathtub.  Under a picture of Matt Damon.  I have no idea if looking up at Matt Damon is supposed to enhance your bathing experience, but there it is.  Actually it was pretty cool having a tub there, even though I never actually found the time to use it.  As always in Vegas, there just isn't enough time.

I'll post a bit about the casino, restaurants and bars later, but I suppose I should mention the pool two.  I wonder how all the architects and designers and everyone else who built a big, beautiful multi-million dollar hotel could have come up with the design for such a crappy pool area.  There are actually two pools at PH, with a large lounging area between them.  And boy do those pools suck.  They are way too small and are so completely surrounded by the cabanas that you can barely get to them without stepping on some big spender.  I assume smart people designed this place, but boy did they screw up here.  Let me say it plain - the lounging area is OK, the pools suck, and I think if you pay big money for a cabana or a day lounger you will really, really feel ripped off.  There, you are warned.  Also, although there was a bar at the pool, there was no cocktail service.  What?  Yeah, no cocktail service at the pool, at least when I was there in the afternoon.  Maybe they didn't want me lingering.


BTW, I'm way to cheap to pay extra for a nice view, but I was kind of high up, so here's the view from room 2494.  Not terribly exciting, but it worked for me.

Overall, it's a very nice place, and aside from the crappy pool, I had no complaints about the room or the service.  Check out was quick, bill was accurate, and the guys who hailed the cabs were nice and quick. 

Would I stay there again?  Maybe, if the price were right, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get there again.

Anyway, thanks for reading, fell free to ask any questions, and stop by again sometime.  I promise I will post some more of my semi-salacious details as my booze soaked memory allows.

And have a good day.

A general plan for the first night....

When I go to Las Vegas, I don't like to overplan.  It's a vacation.  One of the things I like most about Vegas is that it's a 24/7 town, more so than any other place I know.  You can loung at the pool, make a run at a craps table, settle in at a bar, take an afternoon nap, whatever.  And you don't feel like you are missing anything.  It's wonderful.

So, unlike flying into some places, I'm not worried about arriving at ten o'clock at night.  The cabs will be there, the hotel will be ready to check me in.  The town is just barely waking up at ten o'clock.

So I have a general, and very flexible, plan for my first night.  After my long confined flight, I want to do two things when i get off the plane: walk alot and eat.  So I'll settle into my hopefully super-cool room at Planet Hollywood and then run out to eat.  Since I'll be so hungry that a quality meal would be wasted, I'll eat for fuel rather than satisfaction.  I'm thinking that I'll walk over to the brand-spanking new Metro McDonald's on Harmon Ave.  I have my doubts that it's any different than every other McDonald's on earth, but I'll let you know.  When I'm sufficiantly stuffed with greasy fast food, I'll start walking.  Generally, the plan is to cross over to Caesars, move south to the Cosmopolitan, where I'll sit at the Chandelier Bar and watch the beautiful people walk bye for a bit.  Last on my list for night numero one is the Monte Carlo, I like the front bar there.  A few rounds of video poker, a beer or two, by that time the adrenaline will have worn off, and I'll start feeling the long day.  Maybe 1:00 AM, I'll have one (or two) more beverages at a bar at PH, see the club girls and the other cool kids walking by, see if I can spot the working girls.  And then to bed.  Call it a bar crawl if you will, it's more of just a walk.  With beer stops.  Like I said, all plans are flexible, and I'm easily distracted, so there are no guarantees.

Since my body never quite catches up with the time change, I'll probably be up at 6:00 AM or so, looking for that big over-the-top breakfast, one of my favorite things about Vegas.  And then we will go from there.

Thanks for reading.
 
*BTW, spellcheck doesn't seem to be working.  Forgive me.

Five Hotels in Vegas, Part 4

Hey, I'm back with my totally biased thoughts, impressions, bitching, and random musings on Las Vegas hotels and casinos, five at a time.  I'm working my way north on LV Blvd (The Strip), accompanied by crappy and innacurate maps made by an idiot (me) on google docs drawing, as well as whatever pictures I have laying around.  I will also note the player's club associated with each property.

Thanks to everyone reading, feel free to say hi and tell me how wrong I am about places.

Some places I have spent a lot of time in, some I've barely walked through, but all are reviewed honestly and without any kind of inducements or compensation offers from the casinos.  Please note I am open to any and all forms of payoffs and general corruption.

1. Caesars Palace - (Total Rewards)  I started with Caesars because, on my crappy map at least, it takes up quite a lot of space.  In real life, too, this place is huge.  Giant.  Vast. It's also rambling and confusing, so be prepared to get lost in here.  Alas, that really isn't a bad thing, at Caesars at least.
   If I had a lot more money to spend on hotels, this is where I would stay every time.  It's absolutely my favorite spot in Vegas.  This place is what Vegas is all about.  It's over the top.  It's kvetchy.  It's where Evel Knevial jumped over the fountains, for chrissakes.  A guy walks around dressed in Roman garb saying "I am Caesar, welcome to my Palace" (I'll guess that the real Caesar didn't have six-pack abs, but lets leave historical accuracy to the side for a now.)  If a terrorist threatened to blow up every casino in Vegas except one, I would shout out "Save Caesars!!"  So yeah, I like the place.
   Have a fruity drink outside at the Spanish Steps and watch the world go by.  It might be the best people-watching spot in the city.  Sit in the big comfy sports books and watch the Red Sox blow it again.  Oogle the best looking go-go girls in Vegas at the Pussycat Dolls party pit, or the maybe-naked dancers behind the screen at the Shadow Bar.  Or do as I do, sit at the bar playing VP and watch the crowd roll by.  The crowd at Caesars is so eclectic, the beautiful people, the filthy rich, the fanny-pack socks-with-sandels crowd, the club girls, and yes, later at night, the working girls.  Be warned (or enticed, depending on your tastes) the hooker count at Caesars is very high.
  There are several specific things that I like about Caesars.  I always make it a point to have a drink at Cleopatra's Barge, which actually sits in water and rocks with the patrons.  In the past, they have had live music here.  People dance, it's a good place for the over thirty crowd that isn't up for the insanity of the club scene.  There is no cover here.  There is, however, a masthead depicting Cleopatra that hangs out over the walkway in front of the bar.  And I mean hangs out.  She has giant bazooms.  A classic and only slightly naughty Vegas picture is someone reaching up and coping a feel from Cleopatra.  Google it, if you don't believe me.
   I don't eat much at Caesars, as the restaurant selection is a bit fancy for my tastes, and tends to be pretty pricy.  I've eaten at Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill twice, as I'm a big fan of him on the Food Network.  The food is very good, but I think my expectations are maybe unreasonable.  It's on the cheaper side of Caesars restaurants, which does not mean it is cheap at all.  They do serve lunch, however, which brings it down a few bucks.  I also like that when they designed the place they didn't put the bar into a crappy corner as some high-end places do.  Eat at the bar in some high-end places and you feel like a second-class patron.   This isn't true at Mesa.  Well done, Bobby.
  As to the gambling, I mostly play slots and VP here, as the limits on craps are a bit high for me.  I also like the sportsbook, which is big and comfortable, and open to the casino floor.  One of the best in town.  In the casino, you can really see big money being thrown around.  You can also spot quite a few rolexes here.  Yes, my friends, this is one of the places where the big money is.  Despite that, I have never felt out of place or unwelcome at Caesars.  Bartenders, cocktail waitress, casino staff, cigarrette girls (yes, they still have cigarette girls!!) have always been good to me.
  I've never actually stayed at the hotel, as it's a bit out of my price range, but according to people on the Tripadvisor board, some of the rooms are better than others.  They have a whole bunch of pools, including a European pool, meaning ladies can go topless, if that's your thing.  As a guy, it would be a bit pervy to hang out there, but maybe I'm just not European enough.
  Caesars is also attached to the Forum Shops, which is basically a high-end shopping mall.  There are some good budget(ish) places to eat here, but I don't go shopping in Vegas, so I can't really help you out much here.

So I love Caesars, and I'm pretty sure that's the most I've ever wriiten about a hotel, so let's all move on with our lives, shall we?  Let us cross the street and go cheaper.

2. Bill's Gamblin' Hall and Saloon - (Diamond Club) - Despite being owned by CET, Bill's isn't part of the Total Rewards network, which I suppose makes perfect sense to some marketing excutive.  Personally, I don't get it, as Bill's has nothing to be ashamed of. 
  Bill's is pretty much the opposite of Caesars in many ways.  Bill's is very small, it's affordable, it's unpretentious (notice how they misspelled "gambling" in the name.)  It has two restaraunts, Bill's Steakhouse and the Victorian Cafe, both of which I've eaten at and are very good for the money.  The Victorian Cafe is actually one of my favorites, it's open 24 hours and serves a wonderful steak and eggs.
   Like everything at Bill's, the casino is small and friendly.  They have five-dollar crap games, which are hard to find on the strip.  The big bar in the middle of the palce (I guess that must be the saloon part) has some great bartenders.  There used to be a great (free) lounge show there too, Big Elvis, but I guess he has moved over to Harrah's.  There is a hot nightclub here too (or so they tell me) Drai's After Hours, which doesn't open until 1:00 AM and goes all night.  Since my body is on East Coast time, I wake up early, and it's fun to walk down to Bill's at 6:00 AM and see the worn out club people stumble out into the morning light.
  I've never stayed at Bill's but they send me great offers through the mail, and you can't beat the location for the price.  People say the rooms are small and nice enough.  The place has no pool though (although you can use the one at Flamingo) so staying here in the summer wouldn't work for me.  Maybe I'll consider it for a winter stay.

3. Flamingo (Total Rewards) - Yes, this is the place Bugsy Siegal took two in the hat for.  Sit at Bugsy's Bar and drink a toast to him if you must.  Nowadays, it's the home of Donnie & Marie and Jimmy Buffet.  I think Bugsy would get along fine with Jimmy Buffet, Donnie Osmond maybe not so much. 
  I honestly don't have many impressions about the casino at the Flamingo, I know I've been there a few times, but I guess it's not too memorable.  I do like the Margaritaville restaraunt.  Yes, it's a chain, it's cheesy, it's overpriced, and it's way too cute.  The food is decent, however,(if overpriced), the place is laid back, the crowd is fun, and the outdoor bar is one one of my favorite places to have a drink and look out on the strip.  When people ask me where they should go in Vegas, I send them here for drinks and the view.
  They opened the Margaritaville casino since I've last been out, it's on my Places I'll Go list.  It looks like the kind of place where you can have an adult beverage and shoot some craps at 9:00 in the morning without being judged.  I like that.
  Never stayed at the hotel, but it's moderately priced, and people love the pool.  The buffet also gets pretty good reviews, I might hit it up for breakfast on my next trip.

4. Imperial Palace - (Total Rewards)  The official basement of the CET empire.  You might want to get here soon, because I'm geussing it will be gone, or radically changed, in the next five years.  The IP is consitantly one the cheapest place to stay on the strip and, by all reports, you get what you pay for.  I haven't spent much time here myself, and never stayed here (although I would consider it, cheap bastard that I am), but I'm definately going by next time, if for no other reason than to score a casino chip for my collection.  They also have my coveted five-dollar craps table here, by all reports, so it seems a bit odd that I've never ended up in the place.  Go figure.
  I have been to see the Auto Collection here.  I'm not really a car guy, but it is pretty cool.  It's free and a nice way to get out of the afternoon heat for an hour.  People rave about Hash House a Go Go here, I've never been but might get there.  They say the portions are huge though, so I will wait until I'm hungry enough.
  If you are thinking about booking here (or Harrah's, or Flamingo) be aware that there is construction going on in that area.

5. Harrah's - (Total Rewards)  I always seem to end up at Harrah's, although I can't really place why.  I'm hard pressed to think of a good reason to recommend it.  Like Flamingo and Bally's, it's a pleasent enough place, moderately priced, and has a great location.  The casino is huge, and a bit confusing.  It is also always crowded, and a bit claustraphobic.  I think my Grandma would think this would be a great place to stay (if Grandma didn't think Las Vegas was Satan's lair).  I guess "generic" would be a good way to describe Harrah's.
  They do have a great outdoor bar at Harrah's, the Carnaval Court.  It's a good spot to sit, and they have live bands (often pretty good ones) and a general party atmosphere.  They don't charge a cover and have "flair" bartenders, who are friendly and somewhat impressive.  Personally, I like the friendly but could do without the flair, just bring me my beer.  Unfortunately, to get to the place you have to run a gamut of sidewalk kiosks selling crap, which bugs the hell out of me. There is also a piano bar inside Harrah's, if that's your thing, and the Big Elvis lounge show has moved here from Bill's.  Big Elvis is a fat guy doing a bad Elvis impersonation and telling terrible jokes.  It's a great "Only in Vegas" show.  Really, go see it.  It's in the afternoon, it's free, and I'd pay double that to see it.
  My most treasured memory of Harrah's is that this is the place I won some real money on the dollar wheel.  I always have to play the dollar wheel once, and this is the only time I ever hit.  Maybe that's why i keep coming back.

So that's my five for today, thanks for reading, and have a good day.

Places I'll Go in Vegas, part 5

Hey - I'm back with another update in my trip-to-Vegas itinerary.  Today's addition is Carnevale at the Palazzo.  This is a brand new thing apparently, or at least something I've never heard of.  It lasts pretty much all summer, and is a nightly show that includes a parade nightly through the Palazzo and Venetian casino, ending by the gondola rides out front (here's a map )  at 8:00 and some kind of light show hourly starting at 9:15.  There is also some sort of "complimentary" party at the Azure club nightly starting at 9:00, I'll probably skip that though, as it's not really my scene.  They also list children's activities and say "price varies", meaning it probably ain't cheap to keep the kiddies busy. 

So it appears to be a free way to kill a bit of time.  Judging from the pictures, the theme seems to be "Renaissance" Carnevale, rather than the crazy semi-nekkid street parties of Rio Carnevale.  A bit of a disappointment, to tell the truth, but it looks worth checking out anyway.  And hey, its free.  What's better than free.

So, as a service to any potential stalkers, here is my itinerary thus far, in no particular order.

1.  Holsteins Shakes and Buns at the Cosmopolitan
2.  Mob Museum downtown
3. Margaritaville at the Flamingo
4. Public House at the Venetian
5. Carnevale - at the Palazzo

Well, until next time.  And thanks for reading!

Five Hotels in Vegas, part 3

Hi all, this is the third part of my tour of Las Vegas hotels and casinos, five at a time, and my general and completely biased thoughts on them. Some places I've spent a lot of time in, some places very little. Some places I like a lot, some places not so much.  My lame-o maps, BTW, are made by screwing around on google docs drawing.  They are pretty much the limits of my graphic design skills.

Traveling north on the Las Vegas Strip, starting today at the intersection of LV Blvd and Harmon Ave.  I'll also note what players' club the place uses.

1. Cosmopolitan (Identity) - I still think of this as a new place, and it kind of figures to be the last new place built on the strip for a while.  It's owned by a bank, not a casino company, and it wouldn't surprise me too much if the whole place got sold at some point.  But that's another story.
   The Cosmopolitan is absolutely an upscale place, and if money were no object I would love to stay there.  They got so many things right here, the place is just beautiful, and gets prettier the more time I spend here.  The place is essentially built around the Chandelier bar, which anybody who comes to town should stop by for a drink.  The fancy drinks are supposed to be awesome, since I'm pretty much a beer drinker I can't really say.   The Chandelier bar is also Cougar Central on the Las Vegas Strip.
   Holsteins Shakes and Buns is a great upscale burger and beer place, I described Holsteins earlier on my list of places I'll go .   Holstein's is also a nice place to watch the beautiful people queue up for the Marquee club, which is always interesting.  The restaurants are first class, and the staff is pretty nice.  I had a problem with a slot machine once and had a friendly and efficient slot manager take care of it for me.   Even though this is a very upscale place, I've never felt uncomfortable or unwelcome at the Cosmopolitan, despite being a first-class low roller.
  For all the things that Cosmopolitan gets right, they seem to have missed something about the casino.  Everyone loves the place except the gamblers.  Cosmopolitan gets the party crowd, the foodies, the five-star hotel seekers, but the gamblers just have not shown up.  The casino itself is nice enough, but compared to the rest of the place, it seems rather plain and generic. 

2. Planet Hollywood (Total Rewards) - Hey, this is where I'm booked for my July trip.  I've never stayed here before, but I've been to the casino.  The more I look at it, the more I like the place.  Maybe I'm just buying into all the hype since I'm booked there, but the rooms look great, and the place  consistently gets good reviews on a couple of websites I check.  I'm liking the restaurants, Yolo's, Pink's Hot Dogs, Planet Dailies.  Not sure if Cabo Wabo is my kind of place, but I've been to PBR Rock Bar for beer and apps and it's a good spot.  I have no real interest in the shopping mall, but might take a look at the Stripper Bar back there.  I'm thinking it will be a bit too tacky for me, but we will see.  Blondies sports pub is another place that gets good reviews, but I'm not sure I'll make it there either. 
   As to the casino, it's bright, it's loud, way overstimulating, it's everything a Vegas casino should be.  I haven't spent too much money here, just some VP and a bit of slot play.  Oh, and the go-go girls are super-hot.  The bars are a wee bit fancy, but not so fancy that I can't find a spot to fit in.  The Cougar count at the Heart bar was kind of high, and I did spot a few working girls hanging around the last time I was there.
  This is a place for the young party crowd.  Being neither young nor much of a partier, we will see how I do here.

3. Paris (Total Rewards) - It's just like the real Paris, only it's fake.  A nice place, very good restaurants, and people rave about the food choices here. For whatever reason, I just don't feel the "vibe" here, somehow the place just isn't for me.  Last summer, I was staying at Bally's, and had a view of the pool, which looked very nice but also very crowded. 

   The casino, like the rest of the place, is very pretty and overall a fun place to play.  It's a reasonably upscale place, but not ridiculously so.  The last time I was there, the hooker count at the casino bar was pretty high.








4. Bally's (Total Rewards) - If your Dad got to pick your hotel, he would probably pick Bally's.  It has clean, comfortable rooms, a fine if rather plain pool, good bars, a big and somewhat nondescript casino, a couple of good restaurants.  Tequila Bar and Grill might not have the best tacos on the strip, but I'm pretty sure they have the best two dollar tacos on the strip.  I'm a big fan of the sportsbook here, like the rest of the casino, the decor is pretty forgettable, but it's bright and I like that it is somewhat separated from the rest of the casino.  There is a nice little bar there, and it's a comfortable spot to watch a game. 
   I stayed at Bally's last summer.  My check in was late, and I was told there were no more smoking rooms available, so they put me in a suite for the night.  People like me don't get to stay in suites very often, and boy was it nice.  Big living room, two bathrooms, a hot tub.  It was sweet.  After one night there I was back to reality, which was a south tower room.  The south tower is the older part of the hotel, but there was nothing wrong with the room. It was slightly bigger than most rooms, the toilet worked, the TV worked, the bed was comfortable, the shower was hot.  That's pretty much everything I need in a hotel room.  I had a nice view of the front door and the strip, it might have been a great view if I was higher up. 
  Maybe the best selling point for Bally's is that it is an affordable place with a great location.  Seriously, Bally's might have the best location on the strip.  For the price.

5. Bellagio (Mlife) - If Bally's is your Dad's casino, Bellagio is the place for your Mom.  On my first trip, I had heard of the fountains and thought it seemed kind of lame.  When I saw it, I was amazed.  It really is that cool.
  Anyway, the Bellagio has everything your Mom would love.  A somewhat sedate crowd, a big, splashy casino, first class rooms.  The restaurants and bars are all just a bit fancier than they need to be.  There is a conservatory and botanical garden there, which is a nice way to take a break from the craziness of the strip for a little while.  Bellagio is a huge property and a bit confusing to walk around in. Overall it's a bit fancy for my taste.  Nice place though.
  There is a tram way in the back of Bellagio that will take you to Aria and down to the Monte Carlo.  It's free and a cool way to get a different view of the city.

So there are my five for today, bringing my grand total up to fifteen.  Stop by again sometime.

Places I'll go in Vegas, part 4

This one just came on my radar, but it looks so good I had to put it on my list.  I need to add some new things, nobody wants to fall into the rut of just hitting the same places over and over again.  I don't know how new this place is exactly, but it's new to me!!

Public House at the Venetian.  The Venetian is a great place to walk around, it really is a beautiful property, and I've always found it less pretentious than it appears to be.  The last time I was in town, I had a great lunch at First Food there, a terrific spot with a nice view of the strip.  It was pretty empty when I was there, and there was a great bartender who let me try a couple of local beers they had on tap.  I'll probably stop in there too, but Public House has really caught my attention.  The Venetian is certainly a high-end place, but they do have a few restaurants that are very good and don't have outrageous prices. 

Looking over the menu at Public House, it is certainly fancier than your average pub food.  They call themselves a "Gastropub", which I really think means slightly fancier pub.  They also advertise that they have "Nevada’s first certified beer cicerone – the equivalent of a wine sommelier."  I think this means that the staff knows their way around the beer taps.  I love craft brews, and like to try the local brews when I travel, so I often ask for recommendations from the barman.  I'm guessing the people here can help me out.  Keep the flair bartenders, please, give me someone who knows what "hoppy" means.

So, if you are keeping track, or planning on stalking me, here is the list so far.

1. Holsteins Shakes and Buns at the Cosmopolitan
2. Mob Museum downtown
3. Margaritaville at the Flamingo
4. Public House at the Venetian

Five Hotels in Vegas, part 2

The second part of my personal and biased guide to Las Vegas, working northward on the LV Strip.  I will give random thoughts on the hotels/casinos, accompanied by a crappy map I made on Google docs, five places at a time, posted on no set schedule whatsoever.  I'll also note what players' club the property uses.


1. New York New York - (MLife) - I like this place a lot, and considered staying here, but since my MLife account has apparently been cancelled, it (and all the MGM properties) were crossed off of my list.  I would not have booked here in the end anyway, as the pool is currently closed for construction, and I can't be bothered crossing the street to go for a dip.
   There is a lot to like at NYNY, they have a great food court with many non-standard options.  Nine Fine Irishmen is a pretty good fake Irish pub, the can draw a decent Guinness, which is surprisingly hard to find in LV. Coyote Ugly is a good time, despite also being completely fake.  It's Vegas, everything is fake, just go with and have a good time. I like the decor too, it's fun.  Good active vibe. 
   The casino is big and kind of confusing, more than once I've had a hard time finding my way back to LV Blvd.  Might be related to the above mentioned well-drawn Guinness, but not entirely.  The place is just big and confusing.  I haven't dropped too much in the casino here and probably won't in the future, as I once found a semi-rude craps dealer.  It's funny how one guy at a craps table can spoil my view of a giant casino, but there it is.
  The round bar in the middle is a fun spot to play a little video poker and watch the crowd.  The hooker count there, however, is a bit high.
  In addition to the regular forms of Vegas-related vice, I'm also a bit of a roller coaster nerd, and the one at NYNY is pretty good.  Not the greatest ever, and it has long lines, but it is a good time.

  In a town that is almost completely fake, there are two real retired NYFD fire boats in front of the NYNY.  For a good while after 9-11, the fence in front of the boats was covered with T-shirts from fire departs from all over the U.S.  It was beautiful and I still get choked up thinking about it. 



2. MGM Grand - (MLife) - It's very big and very green.  Those are the first thoughts that pop into my head when thinking about the MGM Grand, the flagship property of the company.  There is nothing particularly wrong with this place, but it doesn't really do much for me.  I wouldn't stay here because the place is just too damn big.  Yes, I know, when you are in Vegas it's a long walk anywhere, but just getting around this place is a chore.

   They have very good restaurants here, but I've never actually eaten at any of them.  People love the pool, it has a party vibe and is often recommended as a good pool for kids, both of which mean that it's not a place for me.  The beautiful people are all over the place too, club girls, maybe a minor celebrity, and, as the night goes on, the working girls, who often smile at me while I'm sitting at the bar.  All are fun to watch for a little while, and over the years I've had a few good bartenders here.  I once sat at the small bar right off of the pedestrian bridge, the barman was from Boston too, I was the only one there, we talked about the Red Sox and he told me which girls walking by were club girls, which were cougars on the prowl, and which ones were hookers.  I can't tell the difference myself.
  I also like the sportsbook here.  Nice enough place to watch a game for a while.
  Outside of video poker and the sports book, I don't think I've ever gambled here.
  The monorail also starts here.  The usefulness of the monorail is debatable, bu that's a topic for another day.

3.  Monte Carlo - (Mlife) - Another MGM property I might have stayed at if not for my problems with MLife.  I actually really like this place, it hits the sweet spot between being pretty nice and unpretentious.  I have found five dollar craps tables here in the afternoon before, which is mostly what I play.  The buffet is very good and not too pricey, the Pub (it's just called Pub) is good too and has a "non-Vegas" vibe to it.  It's nice to sit at a bar once in a while and not have a VP machine in front of you, decent beer selection too.  I've been meaning to get to Diablo's Cantina for a while now, as it looks like a fun spot, but haven't gotten around to it yet.  Maybe this time.
  I guess I just like the layout of the place, it's comfortable for some reason.  I wouldn't describe it as downscale, but I never feel like I'm the skunk at the picnic because I'm wearing running shoes.  Oh, and I think they go-go dancers are the best looking around.  Yes, while in Vegas, I like to oogle go-go dancers.  It doesn't make me a bad person.
  I have a general plan of walking over here from the PH on my first night in Vegas and sitting at the front bar for a cold beer, some VP, and some people watching before the lack of sleep kicks in.
  There is a free tram that runs from the Monte Carlo, through Aria and up to the Bellagio.  Great views of the area from the tram.

4. Aria - (MLife) - Boy, this one will be easy, as I've barely spent any time here at all.

   The Aria is part of the City Center development, which is actually a few upscale hotels on the same property.  Since the Aria is the only casino-resort-hotel, I'll just stick to that one.
   It's amazing that this big, new, beautiful place right on the Las Vegas strip is so hard to get to.  There is simply no easy way to walk in.  It seems that they built it to be driven to rather than walked to from the strip.  The logic of that thinking escapes me.  If they are trying to keep me and the rest of the hoi-polloi out, they damn sure succeeded.  I've walked through the place once, the casino is nice and fancy.  Being one of the common people, I had no desire to play a slot machine, have a drink, or do anything else at the Aria.  As Judge Smails used to say, "Some people just don't belong."  I guess that's me at the Aria.
   Having said that, there are a few things that interest me.  Todd English's Pub looks very promising, and there is a lot of public art there, and I know there is a self-guided walking tour that I will take one of these days.  The buffet consistently gets good reviews, so I might hit it up for breakfast. 
  I'm afraid the Aria just isn't the place for me.

5. Planet Hollywood (Total Rewards) -

After putting way too much thought into it, this is the place I am booked for in July, and I am so looking forward to it.  CET (Total Rewards), actually seems to like me, unlike MLife, and appears quite happy to take some of my money.  I actually haven't spent much time in this place, but I like it.  The casino is bright and lively, the spirits flow, and the food options (Pink's Hot Dogs, Planet Dailies, Yolo's, and Earl of Sandwich) fit in with both my taste and my budget.  I might even spring for dinner at the Strip House if I'm feeling it.  Oh, and rumour has it that the Heart Bar at PH is Cougar Central.  I'll let you know.
   I'm not a shopper, but the Miracle Mile shopping mall attached to PH has some good food and drink options as well.  I'll check out Blondies, which gets good reviews as a sports bar.  I'm not a cowboy by any stretch, but have sat at PBR Rock Bar before. When I  first saw the sign for the place, I thought PBR stood for Pabst Blue Ribbon - like I said, I'm not a cowboy. Good service and you can sit outside and peoplewatch on the strip. Cabo Wabo is there too, but that's not so much my scene. 
  I know that the crowd at Planet Hollywood might be a bit too hip for me, but, like the hipsters in my neighborhood here in Boston, they will just have to deal with it.   I just hope I can get a chair by the pool.

So there are my five for now.  Stay tuned, if I live long enough the list will get finished.  Eventually.

Places I Will Go in Vegas #3

Well, I'm still a good ways away from my July trip out to Sin City, and maybe I'm over planning, but I am ready to reveal spot number three on my lame-o Vegas trip.

Margaritaville casino at the Flamingo. I'm no Parrothead, although I can really rock a God-awful Hawaiian shirt.  I've been to the restaurant, the food is overpriced and generally OK, but the drinks are good and the view is fantastic.  Mostly, what is drawing me to the place is the Five O'Clock Somewhere Bar.  I like me a good bar.

I'm mostly a beer man, but the drink menu looks promising.  They have "flair" bartenders, which I find mildly entertaining. 

As I said before, I like bars.  The 5 O'Clock Somewhere Bar, like so many good bars in Vegas, is open 24 hours.  In Las Vegas, on vacation, with my body clock stuck on Boston time, I've been known to indulge a wee bit before lunch.  So, maybe this is a place for me.  Either way, I'm looking forward to finding out.

So, to update, here is my list so far:
1. Holsteins Shakes and Buns
2. Mob Museum
3. Margaritaville Casino

Stay tuned, see how things change.

   *picture stolen from Margaritaville website

What's wrong with the Riviera?

Recently there was an article in the Las Vegas Sun about the Riviera investing a bunch of money to renovate, which, IMHO, is welcome news anywhere. 

I'm a regular reader (and sometimes contributor) to the Las Vegas board on tripadvisor.com, and every now and then someone asks about staying at the Riviera.  The board is quickly inundated with dire warnings and horror stories about the place, which seem to have the desired effects of scaring people away.  Even my Frommer's guide lists this place as "not worth your time or your money."  They officially have a "bad reputation".

I'll admit to having a soft spot for the place.  It's certainly "old school", after all the great movie Casino was filmed there.  I also have a particular annoyance at people who complain that "Vegas hates it's history" and "Big corporations are destroying Vegas", and yet never venture down to the places that are trying to hold on to "the old vibe".  But I digress a bit.

Some years ago, never mind how long precisely, I stayed there.  It was my second ever trip, and I found the place perfectly acceptable.  Even then it was long past hip, but I've been past hip for a while myself.  There was nothing about the place that really wowed me, but I don't remember anything being particularly bad either.  When I make my wee jaunts out to the desert paradise, I always make a trip to the old Riv.  And every time I go, it seems more dated, more rundown, and less busy than the last time, which makes me a bit sad.  Yes, I'm a bit of a weepy sap about such things, but the Riviera was where I learned craps, thanks to the helpful, polite and terribly patient dealers.  The staff, overall, was really great - friendly bartenders, helpful dealers, and the guy that hailed my cab and gave me directions to a couple of places.  After quite a few years, I remember the good service.  There is a lesson there somewhere.

Now back to the headline of my little post, "What's wrong with the Riviera?" 

1.  It's old.  Built in 1955, which makes it very old by Vegas standards.  Old isn't really a bad thing.  Outdated is a bad thing.  The Riv is outdated, and it takes a good bit of money to fix that.
2. It's run down.  Again, a lot of money can fix that.
3. It has a very bad reputation.  Vegas is a town where such things can change though - not too long ago the Tropicana, the Plaza, the El Cortez, and the Gold Spike had terrible reputations. All have made something of a comeback since undergoing big redevelopments.
4. The north strip is dead.  When I stayed at the Riv, Stardust, Circus Circus, the Sahara, and the Stratoshere were all within walking distance.  Now only Circus Circus and the Strat are left and the Strat is too long of a walk for many people.  The Fontainebleau and the Echelon sites sit half finished and will not be finished for years to come.  There is no foot traffic and no big money anywhere in the area.  This is probably the Riviera's biggest problem, and the one the new owners won't be able to fix.
5. The casino is way too empty, and the few people there are low-rollers. As a low-roller myself, I'm not complaining, and you can certainly run a good business if you get enough of them in the door, but that just isn't happening right now.

I'm still optimistic since the place has new owners, and maybe a bit of money to spend.  They've sold the sister casino in Colorado, so it seems like they are all in on Vegas.

Good luck to you fellas.  If you go away, the people who never visited will cry.

Is the old Sahara being rebuilt?

A while ago, there were a few articles noting that the owner of the old Sahara was looking for money to redevelop the place.  Yeah, right, I thought - who's going to throw millions at rebuilding the Sahara, smackdab in the fading wasteland of the north strip?

Maybe I was wrong.  Maybe.  I stumbled on an article in Bloomberg a while ago that the money is there, and the redo is on.  Vegaschatter has written quite a bit about it too, as has Two Way Hard Three and a bunch of other blogs.

I'm terribly sceptical by nature, so I'll believe it when I see cranes and trucks at the site.  Personally, I hope it's for real.  While the north end of the strip is pretty barren in spots, I don't think it's so far gone (yet) that it can't come back, and I'm not such a jerk that I'm trying to put a downer on a project that will bring jobs to LV. So I really hope it's true.

The cynic in me, however, keeps thinking of the "redo" that was promised (a few times) at the old Lady Luck, which still sits empty, ugly, and depressing downtown.